broken_heart-1823So at this point you’re probably saying to yourself “This guy SUCKS at relationships” and you are right. I did. I was always settling, something you shouldn’t do. I always thought I’d never get anything better so take what I got and thank God you have someone period.

After my second go round with Mary I was single for a while (the longest time in my life to be honest). I met the next girlfriend that we’ll call “Cathy” sometime in 2003. She was great. She was sweet, caring, pretty. I was happy. Like almost all the past girlfriends she had a kid. But this time I got to experience a first. The classic “psycho ex” scenario. She was legally separated when I met her and just was waiting for the divorce to be finalized. I had no problem with that. She wasn’t “married’ technically. Things were fine at first. Then suddenly her daughter started to turn on me and was very hateful to me out of nowhere. She’d always been sweet and loving to me up until this point. We found out her dad had told her one time when he had her for the weekend that I was an evil man and that I was going to kill mommy and grandpa and grandma and kidnap her and take her away forever. Yep. Great guy right? So she tells him that my car was parked in front of the neighbors house (I never parked in her driveway if he drove by, which is something he did a lot). So then I started to park in her garage and that was fine for a while until her little girl tells her dad that if mommy’s car was in the driveway that meant I was over. So after all of this I had to stop coming to visit Cathy. Her ex-husband told her if he ever saw me he was going to kill me, chop me up into little pieces, and drop the pieces in the river. Such a sweet guy right? He fit the psycho label perfectly.

Needless to say things started to get sour between Cathy and I over the stress of her ex and we split. I think it was a mutual split too because we both knew as much as we cared about each other it wasn’t going to work right then. Last I heard she living in Illinois, with another kid, married to, get this….her ex-husband’s cousin! Yeah I was thinking the same thing!

So after Cathy I took a break for about a year or so and then I met my next girlfriend, “Angie”, who later would become my first wife. Angie and I met online in January 2005. I was not looking for anything other than a FWB (friends with benefits). I came over, had the benefits part, and never left. Yep I stayed over and over and over and about a month later we decided to start “dating” and be a couple. In August of that same year I asked Angie to marry me. I look back now and realize I settled again. I was afraid I’d never get married so I jumped ont he opportunity. She said yes and all seemed well. We didn’t have many big issues at first. And of course, you guessed it, she had kids. Two of them. No big deal. At this point I was getting used to dating women with kids so all was well. We started to look for a house to move into and we found one in Newton, IA where I still live. She was graduating college and got a job offer in Newton so we decided to make the move there.

It was around the time we moved to Newton (October 2005) that things started to get real bad with our relationship. Yes I know we hadn’t even made it a year yet. broken_relationship_2Sad right? So we got married in July of 2006 and things just got worse and worse. Long story short we separated in January 2009 and our divorce was final in April 2009. I won’t go into the details of the separation as some of it’s just too personal of information to put on here but let’s just say I was screwed over in how it all went down.

So here we are at present day. Will I date again? Who knows. Am I already? Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll just have to keep coming here and find out for yourself.  I will tell you I’ve met a very nice girl that I’ve been getting to know as a friend. I told myself that after Angie the next girl I get serious with MUST have the following criteria:

  • MUST be kidless.
  • MUST not have any  ex-bf/ex-husband drama
  • MUST have good relationship with her mom and dad ESPECIALLY her dad

So now that I’ve given you the back story to my lovely, drama filled, failed relationships of the past where do we go? Well the next part of this will try and focus on what went wrong with the past relationships. What was the constant? What could have been done differently, etc. Stay tuned for Part 3.